Saturday, June 13, 2009

Thick Skull Magazine: HTOWN goes GONZO... The Declaration: Kanly, Apocalypse and thermonuclear WAR.

Thick Skull Magazine, a fully owned subsidiary of Dark Matter Trading and Publishing Company, itself an EFC (The Entirely Fake Corporation) splinter group is declaring WAR (Without Any Repercussions) on all publications in the South East Texas Area.
After grievous insults and endless taunting by members of the so called "PRESS" (People Representing Economically Selfish Salesmen) The Bookstore/publishing house has decided to take it's message to the streets in a project entitled: HTOWN.

HTOWN will be a magazine/blog that focuses on the faults of others in the publishing industry as well as, Drugs, Crime, Corporate corruption, Political intrigue, Sex, scandal, unverifiable rumors, lies, sensationalism and seeks to ultimately glorify what is considered to be deviant or weird behavior.

Our Correspondents come from all walks of life: Homeless, Ex-cons, Turncoat Republicans & Democrats, Ex-cops, Anarchists, Atheists, Drug Addicts, Alcoholics, Sexual Deviants (no pedophiles), Drop outs, freaks, dorks, geeks and losers from every conceivable background.

We don't give a fuck what you believe or what you do with your body.
We don't give a fuck about your car or your benefits package.
We don't give a fuck about your precious cultural heritage.
We think this town's image is that of an Amusement Park, and we believe all local publications to be complicit in this regard. We intend to stretch this image as far as we can and hopefully crush it, grind it to a powder and probably smoke it.
Perhaps we will be nothing more than a blip on the radar.
Perhaps we will accomplish little besides getting wasted and yelling obscenities while defiling popular drinking esablishments.
We have but two rules: Don't Kill People (without a really really good reason) and Don't Fuck Kids (for any reason).
Additionally we also like to draw the line just below LIBEL and SLANDER so we will be keeping it anonymous when it matters.
All complaints and comments should be listed below and FULL correspondence will commence on September 11th 2009.
We shall not be moved.

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Potential Headlines for the First Issue :
POT IS LEGAL (in california and a few other smart states)
ALIENS ARE REAL (in france and brazil)
DRUGS ARE FUN (everywhere especially in prison)
SEX IS AWESOME (for non-repressed people)
CHURCH SUCKS (because god allegedly doesn't exist)
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Let us know what you think you corporate zombies!!!